Openening my eyes

I see things clear now......people who smile and are kind are not meant to be friends. I try to be kind and offer my e-mail so I can make friends, but I think people think I am doing to try to date them or something.......but thats not the case, I am just trying to learn how to live again.

Clear

Well, life is getting better, but I find that I myself bring stress and other no cool things to my life. When I look in the mirror, I see what I have and am thankful.......but then I go and start drinking again.......I already have major health issues, and drinking is the last thing i need. When I drink I push people I care about away, or lie to them or are short with them. I want to live and be loved, hell I want to be normal. But as long as drink, I will keep repeating these same mistakes. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result........I feel that is what I am doing with my life and drinking. But I am trying to change, I am writing a childrens book, and embracing anime and other things I love.