Eyes open

Life is crazy hard and painful..but I hear things and see things and make mistakes........But how does one, truly change for better?

Livingin life

Well, I am now gonna start really, really blogging. I have been going through alot, but I think that I am happy with where I am at in life.
The New star trek movie rocked, the x-men movie was cool. AS far as anime goes, I am into Soul Eater which rocks....as far as comic books go at the moment, I am looking forward to blackest night, and I am currently into the Batman battle for the cowl. I really like Jason Todd, but I hate how the writer wrote him. I also am doing better with my art.........I love finding cute feet to draw.
I am also trying eharmony and I am not impressed thus far......lol.

Batman

I loved the first issue of Batman Battle for the Cowl. It was everything I hoped for, so I am super happy. I hope Jason Todd stays as Bats. Other things in life are hard........my mom is sick and I am sick, and I guess I am just worried about mum's health.
I started drawing again, so I am happy about that. Also Anime Detour is coming fast. I have been working on my cosplay from Bleach and Fullmetal alchemist, so that has been fun.
http://shadowjedix.deviantart.com/ This is my DA site.

Openening my eyes

I see things clear now......people who smile and are kind are not meant to be friends. I try to be kind and offer my e-mail so I can make friends, but I think people think I am doing to try to date them or something.......but thats not the case, I am just trying to learn how to live again.

Clear

Well, life is getting better, but I find that I myself bring stress and other no cool things to my life. When I look in the mirror, I see what I have and am thankful.......but then I go and start drinking again.......I already have major health issues, and drinking is the last thing i need. When I drink I push people I care about away, or lie to them or are short with them. I want to live and be loved, hell I want to be normal. But as long as drink, I will keep repeating these same mistakes. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result........I feel that is what I am doing with my life and drinking. But I am trying to change, I am writing a childrens book, and embracing anime and other things I love.

New

Okay, this is my first blog, so please forgive me if it is not perfect. But it is cool to have a place to vent and get stuff off your chest. I think I am just now understanding that life is something you should take and grab as it comes, where I have kinda had the wait and hope something or someone to fall in lap.

But now I guess I have to live and love and do it with a free mind and heart and soul, and not have any regrets. Too often I have been shy or fell for someone and hoped one day they would open their eyes and we would live happy forever. But the longer I wait the more time passes, while the person I seek is out living, I sit here waiting for a miracle alone.
So now, I have set my shoulders straight and have plans and have goals and am gonna get out and live and follow each one of my dreams. I am the only person who can dream my dreams and I am the only one who can make them fail or make them happen..........it is time I find the moon and reach for the stars.